NEGATIVE NON VERBAL LANGUAGE


NEGATIVE NON VERBAL LANGUAGE

                   There are some negative signals sent to others in your sitting or standing gestures and position. If you want to make others feel comfortable with you avoid being habit of this position. The most common negative signal we often practice that we may not realize is cross leg position. There are many type of cross leg positions and sent signals. Don’t do this again if you want to be an open attitude person. The purpose of the cross leg position is to cover the genital area but unfortunately it means defensive attitude generally.
            First, the standard legs cross indicates nervous, reserved or defensive attitude. Let me give one exception this position may not show negative signals during a lecture in long period of time. It indicates finding a comfortable position. I suggest you should never sit in this position in an interview session.
             
Second, many American often use this position. It indicates argumentative or competitive attitudes. In a negotiation it will be difficult to reach an agreement if you have a partner sitting in this position. Try to pose an opinion so that he change the position, drag the conversation to the interesting signal. First you should lean forward then ask “ what is your suggestion for this matter? “ if he has changed the position you can close the negotiation in your own end.
           
Third, arms lock cross leg shows a stubborn and tough minded person. You need to find many tricks to break his point of view. He uses double protective signals, his hands and his cross legs. His position is very comfortable he doesn’t want any body to move his position. Take this person move to another place keep him changing in open position so you can continue a negotiation.
                        Fourth, defensive standing position sometimes makes very comfortable and relax gestures, however this gesture shows defense and unconfidence. This position is taken in group of people where you do not know them well. A person who always stands in this position could be shy, defensive, or nervous. It does not show a cold weather. Feeling cold, someone will put his palms of his hand in his armpits.
                        Fifth, the best way you attract others feel comfortable with you in a group of standing meeting is open attitude position. People will never leave you alone in a standing party if you consistently stand in open attitude position.

                        Sixth, Ankle lock gesture is also an indication of negative signal. An interviewee sometimes does not realize that he is in the sitting position. It shows that he is nervous. You may face unsuccessful situation when you are in the position while you are in an interview session. Try to change your ankles position or unlock your ankles.
                        These are examples of foot lock and cross leg lock. Whatever reason the various leg and foot lock position send negative signals. You should avoid those positions. You ‘d rather use positive and open body position is order to feel more confident and build better relationship with others.

Note: All figures in this article are taken from “Body language how to read others thought by their gestures, Alan Pease, Sheldon Press , London, 1981” this is a summary of Alan Pease interpretation in his book.
                       

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